I realised that emotions-wise, I have to be one of the simplest people I know. Mostly because if you play me the right kind of song, no matter how sappy or bad the lyrics are, if the song's uplifting enough, it'll carry me throughout the day.

And as it is, I take a day at the time, and I have to give myself an injection of uplifting songg in the morning just to start moving.

I try not to brood, because I spent enough time in secondary school brooding and drowning in my own misery. Right now I'm fine with being the ephemeral one that tries to make people laugh and not wallow in their own misery. I make cheap shots, bad jokes, and am frank to a fault, but God, it's so much better than being emo. Which is why I can't understand what it is with the new wave of emo punk rock with Fall Out Boy, Panic! At The Disco, My Chemical Romance et al. I mean hey, I went through my own Blink 182 phase -- I have the CDs to prove it -- but after some time you want to get rid of your baggage, not get reminded of it every time you hear a song and then find some more baggage that you swept away into a corner. So while I still think Adam's Song is still one of the best suicide songs ever, I just don't want to be reminded of it anymore.

Unlike emo punk rock, pop music doesn't promise anything other than a good time singing along. It's superficial, fluffy and has inane lyrics, but it doesn't promise to save your life or let you connect with it on a deeper level, and sometimes that's all I need. I want to live life, not go through the motions. Life's too precious to clog it up with guilt. I've had enough of it.

(This entry so did not go the way I meant. My mind just decided to go another way.)